Microsoft is Never Gonna Give You Up

Today I switched from my normal Xbox LIVE gamertag ABZ1NTHE to my new MLG custom-games only tag abzinthe OR NOT. In the process, I figured I might as well cancel my brother’s account while I’m at it. He hasn’t played in a few months and only ever uses my Xbox anyway, so I went to live.xbox.com and found out that I need to call Xbox tech support in order to unsubscribe.

I have an odd history of speaking with tech support.

Natalie was easy to talk to. Me, being Canadian, spelled out the “zau” in “zaussome” as zed-aye-you, and she kept asking how I spelled “zed.” I eventually noticed and said “zee” instead. She passed me to some other guy, I didn’t get his name, who would help me cancel.

I know I should have expected this, but while Microsoft is Never Gonna Give You Up, they aren’t at all hesitant about letting you down. He looked at the gamertag and said “Wow, you have plenty of acheivements. Are you sure you want all this work to go to waste?” I told him it was not my concern and neither his. He asked if I had any friends who might like to take control of the account (which is against there terms of service, by the way,) I told him that all of my friends already had a gamertag.

Eventually we actually get somewhere. He keeps twisting my words, but in the end he gives me a confirmation number and says the account will not renew itself after July 8th. After this, he says “okay,” and the line goes silent. I guess Microsoft will never say good bye.